The news…

It’s been on the lighter side this week. Well there are always those terrible things, but the not so terrible things are funny.

Florida’s Python Patrol: Apparently people in Flo-RIDA are dumping their pet snakes in the everglades. This is obviously causing problem because a large python will eat unsuspecting animals. I assumed from the title that either it was one of those porn’s like “MILF Hunter” or perhaps Hulk Hogan was doing one of those bounty hunter type shows.

After groin kick school bans even “high fives”: I think this one is from the North East maybe Connecticut. Some kid kicked another kid in the groin and now a school has banned all types of touching. I hear the Gym teachers are looking to transfer to another district. Hey, groin kicks are funny and they helped Bob Saget stay on a family orientated show much longer than he should have.

Mom’s plea deal includes ‘resurrection clause’: Some cult member in Maryland allowed her one year old son to starve to death under the guise that it was “god’s will” and that the boy would be resurrected. If the boy does resurrect she gets to go free. Good looking out by her lawyers on that one. Fear not my Buddhist friend’s because “in court Monday, it was clarified that the “resurrection clause” would apply only in the case of Javon’s actual resurrection — not a perceived reincarnation”. Phew, what a relief! If the boy is resurrected she would be better off in prison. Why would anyone want to be released unto a world infested with zombies that her child helped create?

How will the April fool’s computer worm affect you: Who gives a shit. I hope it shuts down my work computer, so I can go to the bar… Mental note: get cash out from under mattress, bar’s computer will not work.

Well there you have it. What the hell is wrong with us? I got no clue.

Hey look Dave’s friend showed up. That’s cool, so he wasn’t lying. Keep coming back all week and next and the one after that. We got Happy Hour nonstop!