These “Dave’s others” strips sort of center around pretentious behaviors or the idea that some people can just be dicks. I am going to focus on pretentious behavior today and maybe later I will focus on being a dick. (I had to be careful with the way I worded that… I don’t want to focus on dicks per say, but people that act like dicks…)

I feel that I am not pretentious for the most part. I do enjoy fine food and staying in posh hotels, but I do not display my likening of these things ostentatiously. I enjoy these things, because, well, I actually enjoy them. I don’t think of them as a direct representation of my status. Great French food makes me happy, no matter the price. If the Foie Gras cost 5 dollars or 25 dollars, I would enjoy it just as much.

The reason I bring this up is because I was in the new “Whole Foods” by my house over the weekend and the place was crawling with pretentious dbags. I know what you are going to ask, “but Phil you were there, doesn’t that make you a pretentious dbag?” Well not every single person was a dbag. I was in Whole Foods, because I like to cook and honestly it’s a great place to get fresh product that your local “Shoprite” just doesn’t have. I mean seriously everything in there just looks fresher. The problem is that most of the people that where there were there to purchase their vegan couscous and organic Frosted Flakes. One guy actually asked a worker where the organic beer is. If you only drink organic beer, then you shouldn’t be drinking beer. You should be drinking Perrier after you sipped the organic skim milk from your organic Frosted Flakes. I’m surprised half of the people in the store didn’t bring their own “Mercedes” hybrid shopping carts and “Juicy Couture” 100% recycled canvas bags.

Yes, I will be returning to my local Whole Foods… I like the place… it’s got some really great things inside… aside from the douchebags of course.

The Dave Mistake ends this week and then Happy Hour tackles a serious issue that not only faces this nation, but the entire world.

-Phil (got it right today)